Snoozy Ginge

Snoozy Ginge,
originally uploaded by Her Perspective.

Choosing to omit

I haven't forgotten about my blog. I've just had so many bad things and awful experiences since the beginning of the new year that I decided to take a break for a while, get my life back on track and try and get happy.

I think it's working.

I'll update properly, soon.

An update of sorts, quickly

I have to go to work shortly, but I feel bad that I'v eleft it so long to update the blog so here's a quick revision of what's gone down in the past month or so.


It seems that the good friends that I loved and relied upon have decided to leave me. I fell out with Jamie (and Kate) over a silly happening that could have so easily been avoided and now I don't speak to or hear from any of 'that lot'. I'm sad about this, but oh, the ball is in their court now, so to say.

Nat and Hilton, the last friends that I do hold dear, are currently occupied because her mother has had an operation, so I don't resent them for not being around or anything. Hopefully I'll see them tonight.

Lizzie is back from Lancaster, which makes me very happy. She's back with us at work for the Christmas period to liven things up a bit in the coffeeshop.

I've spent every night, since about three weeks ago, in my room at home, trying to be occupied.
I've written a song (I'm looking for bandmates, by the way).
I've tidied my 'space', finally.
I've sorted all photographs and images that I wanted to but have been putting-off for about six months.
I've dyed my hair pink, in parts. I need a haircut now, though.
I haven't touched my big blue pig for ages, so I look forward to emptying hundreds of pounds worth of 50p's next weekend.
I've had a decent night's sleep!

A dispute with the university is still ongoing. 'They' still insist that I owe them money for living in halls. I still insist that I DO NOT LIVE IN HALLS, you can see where I'm going with this. It's still currently a never-ending battle. Who'd have thought that an education institution that I PAY to attend is actually attempting to blackmail me in to staying there and pay fees that I don't owe?
I'm worried about deadlines (in about a month) and the fact that I'm not going to meet them. I have applied for extensions and have an appointment with my personal tutor on Monday to discuss all manner of issues.

My stress levels are incredibly high at the moment. My brain hurts.

My cousin, Zac, has been released from prison. I'm very happy about this, although I guess they've only let him out because the cells are overflowing. 'Tis the season, after all.

I go to fetch Ritch from Plymouth on Thursday, though. There's a good thing. I miss him loads and can't wait for a good old fashioned kiss and a cuddle. This would actually be completely shit if it weren't for him being around. I'm such a loser.

At least now you know what's going on with me, eh? God forbid anyone was ever worried! pfft.


Until next time.

Long overdue

So this, I suppose, is an update of events past and things to come. I sit here in the computer 'lab' at university wondering what on Earth I'm playing at. It's been a little over three weeks since Pipex said that I'd 'Go Live' and I'm still without the internet at home.

I haven't really missed not having the internet, to be honest. University work can be done through other means and, if anybody ever tells me that something MUST be done post-haste then, in my opinion, it can most certainly wait. The only thing that am missing at the moment is EBay. I noticed the other day that Christmas shoppers are at it already and so I should be, too. But the inability to buy everything online has hindered me somewhat, not to mention the fact that I can't even think of what to buy for anybody this year.
Christmas 2007 is going to be very weird, I think.

I miss Ritchie. I know I go on and on but it's tearing me up inside. I'm always sad these days and more often that not I'm very angry with myself for numerous reasons. I'm sure he's got a lot on his plate down in Plymouth at the moment, but I'm a very selfish girl and he needs to come back this instance to console me for my sad loss. It really does feel like somebody or something has taken him away from me for good and that I'm never ever going to see him again! This is obviously stupid, but I guess it's how I feel.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could just hop onto MacMessenger or Skype, but clearly God is out to make me moody at the moment and is causing Pipex toy with my emotions. I'm sure the phone line is just fine, but still I have to wait another seven days before everything is 'active'. Bastards.

In other news. Boo hoo for OiNK. It is a bit of a shame, I admit, but I guess it serves us tight-fisted pirates right for stealing good music in the first place. ITunes can only get cheaper now, guys.
The Wolverhampton tramp died a couple of days ago. He lived on the island in the town centre, I'm sure those of you that live in the area have noticed him. He was a cool bloke and stood by his beliefs, fair play to you, my good man. God will look after you now!

Dad's new/Grandma's old house is up for rent. A few people have shown interest already and I think that he has agreed for a nice couple to move in as soon as possible. I'm quite excited. Apparently, they're only going to be living there for the best of two years so the house has been offered to me for when I have finished university and travelled the world. I'd have to pay some rent, obviously, but I truly am considering taking my dad up on the offer he has made. I have been wanting to leave home for a very long time now and it's nice to see that my folks are showing some sort of understanding towards it now. It beats living alone in a shitty area in a small, over-lived-in flat with no familiar faces around you, anyway. Not that I should be so picky...

I must admit, I feel better from writing this entry, now. It's nice how venting things on to (proverbial) paper can clear your head and make you smile. I feel ready to conquer my day now!

Shame I missed my lecture this morning.

I'm going to trawl MySpace now and catch up on all the picture comments, friend requests and birthdays that have been left for me.

Not.

Rough month; things must improve

My dad has bought his sister's share of my Grandma's old house. He plans to rent it out and set up a little pension for himself and his wife. He's bought the house two-doors-down, too. I was shocked to hear this: we've never had bucket loads of money to splurge on property that MIGHT be an earner within the next ten years. He says, "everything is under control", though.

I went to Plymouth to see Ritchie. It was brilliant. Aside from the big ugly dispute mid-week, things are now better than they were and we have both come to realise how each other has changed so much over the past five years or-so. We exchanged goodbyes yesterday morning before lunch, during lunch, on the walk back to his flat, in the afternoon in his room and on the bus concourse five minutes before I left for Birmingham - home. I'm gutted.

I think this is what being lovesick is like.

I came home to find that my dad has well and truly pimped my ride. Since I bought my new car a few weeks ago father, bless him (I HATE that phrase, I know), has taken it upon himself to soup things up a bit. Alright, it's a fucking awesome car and I want to do all I can to show it off to the world, I just want to be included in it a bit is all!
So far we have a new chrome fuel door, chrome cigarette-lighter and matching gear stick knob, silver alloy wheels with blue 'gems' in the middle, chrome electric mirrors and, very soon, it's own little Jolly Roger.
I should upload some photos, although I have always said in the past that only silly boys do that sort of thing. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm back home now. As soon as I got in last night my MacbookPro wouldn't switch on. I was too tired to complain so I slept on it (yes, literally, idiot) and this morning everything is fine. I guess the the poor thing was just hibernating after I'd left it for a whole seven days. Sorry about that, Mac.


I'm going to go see Jamie as soon as my hair is tamed, he and kate moved in a few days ago, I'm excited for them and want to nose about in their new house.

Cheer yourself up,

Things got worse

There is nothing in this world that is more devastating than death.
I consider myself to be lucky, in this respect, as I am still alive and have God to thank for that. I'm having a very hard time at the moment, though. My Grandma passed away on Tuesday.
Things are still a bit hazy, I suppose it hasn't quite sunk-in yet, etc. and I am worried that this sudden illness that has overwhelmed me over the passed couple of days has something to do with my worries. I'm finding it very hard to decide exactly what to do with myself at the moment.

More importantly, I've seen no tears being shed, or anybody appearing to be struck with grief, yet I am so uncontrollably upset... I just don't understand. I'm supposed to be at work right now, but I had to ring in because I was ill throughout the night. I just don't have any strength to be around anybody to receive condolences and best wishes for my future.
I don't have any grandparents, anymore. This is the end of an era. I feel sick.

Whether your A-level results were less than what you expected, or your current boyfriend/girlfriend has left you or you can't find anything decent to wear today, think, for a minute, how utterly ridiculous you're being and focus on the real love that is in your life because once it's taken away, you're on your own.

I probably won't blog for a short while, now. I'm still here, though.

A worryful month

I just checked my bank balance.

After an evening out with a couple of friends last night at Starcity, Surf's Up and Old Orleans are reflecting to be quite expensive after all, especially when paying for the husband as well as myself because Unite are so desperate to take his first rent installment so he too is now skinny, in many senses of the word.
I got paid on Friday but I now only have a couple of hundred pounds to last me until the 14th of September and I don't think that it's going to happen. I owe father a good £500 for my car insurance/road tax/wing repair so it looks like I'm going to be left with pittance by the end of this week.
NSandI could do with giving me a win as it's been nearly five months since I received anything and I have, like, thousands of pounds invested in those bonds. I am actually considering withdrawing a couple of hundred quid from my bonds account to last me till next pay day as I can't bear not going out and doing cool stuff like drinking, smoking, swearing and laughing at politically questionable jokes told by silly old punters up town.
I'm finding that having little-to-no money is quite distressing and depressing. I would love to know how the 'unemployed' get by and how people that work stupid hours for shit money find the will to be able to save and set up a home and all that. A current friend of mine is moving back in with his mother after a few years of renting a council flat because he can't afford it. Saying that, he does work part time and it's not like he's in any rush, he's younger than me for goodness sake.

Jamie and Kate are moving in together next month. It's going to be weird having them live all the way in Stafford, but I think things will be cool. They both have proper-ish jobs now and are somewhat 'sorting their lives out'. I'm happy for them.
I absolutely cannot wait to leave home and I'm sure I've mentioned this before. I am SO ready I'm practically packing my suitcases. For now, though, I'm trying hard to focus on getting back into the mood for university so I can get this whole right-of-passage over and done with.
On the upside, the first installment for my student loan this year goes into my account on... erm, I don't know but I know it's next month sometime. Yay.

I'm fucking obsessed by money, I swear. I need to stop gambling on the National Lottery website.

I have to go to work, now. God, help me.

The week ahead looks murky.